Another Geoffrey Adventure

One of the things that brightens my non-riding days is . . . watching other people having fun riding horses. Yes, that seems masochistic, even to me, but I’ve been watching the Longines Jumper Series (broadcast live over YouTube by the HorseNetwork) religiously, gasping at the height of some of the jumps. And, I’ve been watching Geoffrey. These short videos always make me smile. They also make me want to visit New Zealand, so that’s another goal once I’m back on two legs.

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Hang on Tight!

Okay, I’ve never fallen off, but I’ve come pretty darned close. At the end of a hunt when your legs are week a good shake can make you loose.

Rules for dating an Equestrian

Dating an equestrianCopied from Facebook. Many nuggets of truth here!

Rules for dating/marrying an equestrian:

  1. They WILL have layers of clothes and muddy boots….either provide a place for them to drop these things or don’t whine about the mess.
  2. Expensive tack is still cheaper than the horse and human medical bills that can result from cheap tack. Good tack also lasts longer than the horse. Don’t question the tack.
  3. One horse is never enough. Don’t even question this. It is a law of the universe.
  4. Caring for the horse is ALWAYS more expensive than the horse. Whining about the purchase price is pointless.
  5. When they say, “I’m just going to stop out at the barn for a few minutes.” you should probably just make plans on your own the rest of the day.
  6. That not-a-morning-person that you are used to will completely disappear on the mornings a trailer must be hooked up for a horse-related event. They will be replaced by a bright-eyed super-intense type-A psycho who will NOT care that you need 5 more minutes for your coffee because they need to be at the barn at 5:45 am PRECISELY.
  7. Vet bills for horses start at 4-digits and go up from there. If it’s less than $1000, pay it quickly and run out of the vet’s office before the horse suddenly develops another problem.
  8. No matter how badly your significant other is injured, you should NEVER blame the horse. In fact, don’t mention the injury or the horse if you can avoid it. Suggesting they should avoid riding until they are healed will probably get you a crutch upside the head.
  9. If you don’t know what to get for a holiday or birthday, a gift card to the tack store is ALWAYS a good option. If you have messed up somehow, this is an excellent way to get out of the dog house. The value should reflect how much trouble you are in. A bouquet of tack store gift cards is generally sufficient to cover very bad mistakes, such as burning down the house or crashing the truck.
  10. Your equestrian will be fine if you have your own hobbies and interests. In fact, you had better get your own hobbies and interests. If you want to spend significant time with your equestrian, you need to develop a useful skill…..such as driving a tractor, shoveling, operating a video camera, leatherwork of any sort, or becoming a veterinarian.
  11. Trucks are not optional. Yes, the truck and trailer rig will likely be at least half the cost of your house. Arguing about this is unwise, your equestrian will happily LIVE in the truck and trailer and suggest selling the house.
  12. Horse craziness is hereditary, generally passed down the maternal lines, but can be present on the males side as well. Prepare for this when planning children.
  13. If you need your equestrian to spend more time at home, we suggest building a barn on your property.
  14. Dates should be planned in a different county from where the horse is located. If the equestrian gets within 50 miles of the horse, they will need to stop by. You will be stuck there, see point number 5 above.
  15. Never make it a competition between you and the horse. New significant others generally cost less money and are faster to train than a new horse. Just saying.

The trials of selling a horse

I haven’t sold many horses but this looks exceedingly, distressingly familiar.

The best was when someone came to try a horse I had for sale, rode her, loved her and then asked if I would let her go as a free lease. Um, no.

I know it’s hard to find a good horse to buy, but when you are looking, remember how hard it is to sell one, too!

Scary things are everywhere

Scary things
It gets dark early now. And very quickly. I took Zelda for a hack in the woods behind the barn, not quite anticipating just how dark it would get. We were alone. And there was something following us. I could hear the rustling behind us. I looked for dogs, for deer, for hikers, for the bear that is supposedly in the woods. I couldn’t spot a thing. Still, the rustling followed us all the way down the trail. It wasn’t until I turned around that I finally figure it out. Her tail was so long that it was dragging in the leaves behind us. No wonder she hadn’t been worried!

 

 

Riders get naked for charity

Hunks and Horses
Hmm, it does make me wonder why there are so many calendars full of naked equestrians . . . There are several calendars to choose among, but his one is sure to be a favorite. The Hunks & Horses Calendar is easy on the eyes and all proceeds from the calendar and related events are split equally between world horse welfare and testicular cancer research. Click on the photo or visit the calendar site at http://www.hunksandhorses.co.uk.