If your Breyer horses and riders need some schooling, who better to take over than George Morris? Or rather, the Tiny Talking George Morris action figure, scaled to size for Breyer horses. Yes, for all of you who didn’t get enough of George barking his trademark phrases at you in a clinic (or if you just feel nostalgic) for a mere $100 (much less than a clinic) you can purchase one of these limited edition dolls.

No, this isn’t a joke. This is for real.

The action figure was rolled out this week at the Rolex Central Park Horse Show. All proceeds go to the Chronicle Support Network’s Fidelity Charitable Gift Fund. The Chronicle Support Network was launched by the Chronicle and the Bellissimos, Mark and his wife Katherine, to help connect equine-based charities all over the country.

Perhaps the most fun was the post at the Chronicle of the Horse Forum that collected typical Morris phrases.

The promo for the doll includes him saying, “you ride like a soup sandwich.” But several COTH members posted their favorites including:

• Glad you brought your brain into the arena this morning.
• You are dumber than a traffic cone.
• You either go to the hospital or you get back on…. Hospital or on!
• Are you yawning? You don’t ride well enough to yawn.”
• Maybe lightning will strike and you will suddenly be able to ride.”
• Break your ankle, or I’ll break it for you.
• It’s called Submissive. You husbands, know what that is.
• Distances are like men, never take the first one you see, there will always be another one.

Order yours now at: https://cphs.coth.com/page/george-morris-action-figure/#top. Since everyone deserves a little George. Quantities are limited.

As a disclaimer: I have never ridden with George Morris. I have audited some of his clinics and decided I wasn’t brave enough. Who among my readers has ridden with him?